Hear his story.
I have never been in any trouble before, not only being a model citizen, but an exemplary citizen.
I'm now 54 and have spent roughly the last 30 years as a radio DJ living all over the country with my family. I was well respected, looked up to, and spent innumerable hours working with charitable organizations, including Special Olympics (my son, 33, by my first wife, is autistic). I have drawn a 6 figure income & am college educated.
In April 02, I decided to get out of radio and come close to home to be closer to my parents. My first mistake was thinking the grass would be greener by owning my own business. I bought a franchise that turned out to be a disaster, soaking me for every dollar, so much so that I can't even afford help. I have run it 11 hours a day, alone, for 4 years now. To make matters worse, it's in an undesirable part of town--(I didn't know this when I bought it, blame me for not researching it better)--nobody has any money, I have feared for my safety on
average 2 times per month. I actually had a gun chase through the store, and can't get rid of it because nobody wants it.
In the midst of going through this, my wife of 20 years served me divorce papers in September of 04. I was devastated. It hit me out of the blue. She told me she was in love with another man (I hadn't the faintest) and I have not seen her nor my daughter since that day. I spent the next 2 years crying in bed EVERY night. Here I am, alone in a big city, no friends, no family and by myself. Even abandoned by my own 16 yr old daughter.
You must know what the experts say about divorce..that it many cases its worse than death. This was. Quite frankly, I'm not over it yet as I hear she's moved out west & I have no idea where my daughter is. She's getting married & I have not been invited. I have never treated her bad in any way to deserve this. They were the loves of my life.
When I wasn't running my shop 6 days a week, I would spend weekends with my parents 100 miles away. Every weekend.
I will admit to having had an Internet addiction during this time. According to psychologists, this stems from a number of factors including escape from everyday life, depression, anxiety, financial woes, all my problems. But never ONCE did I talk to underage individuals. It was not in my makeup or of interest to me.
In April of 05 I had just returned from a visit to see my son, when I didn't feel like driving over to my parents that weekend--I had just got through with a long 500 mile drive. I'm sitting alone, bored, at home on a Sunday morning when I foolishly & regretfully went on a chat line.
It was a Sunday at 8am, not many people on the chat & I was contacted by a person. A purported 13 year old.
I had talked to this individual sporadically in the previous weeks & being that she was one of the few on, I talked to her out of boredom. Keep in mind, she made contact with me or I probably wouldn't have known she was there...I had no interest in that kind of rendezvous. The talk took on sexual overtones. It was computer fantasy and although I knew she was 13 from her profile, that kinda gets blotted out of your mind when you get wrapped up in other thoughts.
I know, you're probably saying "is this what you do when you get bored"? No it's not, but that day, it was.
At one point, she professed the desire to meet. I still have the actual script of the chat left with me later by the police. In it, I told her NO I WILL NOT MEET YOU and I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE. This is scripted and in my possession to this day.
She kept picking and picking (a cop if you haven't guessed by now) and I finally relented and said 'OK', laughing as I got off the computer. This was now 9am, and I went through my routines of shopping, laundry, fixing lunch and watching TV. Later that afternoon I went to the stadium to get a souvenir for my son and headed to my brothers for a cookout which was 20 miles away, and not my usual route, but since I was downtown I had to take an unusual route to get there.
I swear to you the following is fact: My route took me past the meeting place she set up. It did not even occur to me 'til I was almost to the exit of that meeting place.
I got inquisitive and started asking myself if people really do this. I pulled off just to take a look (my big mistake). The place was a public bowling alley. I told myself, this could be a police setup but I reasoned that if I don't stop, don't roll down the window, don't talk to anyone, what have I done?
I drove in, stopped, thought about it, thought the same thing, what am I doing wrong? Its a public place for God's sake. This was way before TV's "To Catch a Predator" and I wasn't pulling into a private residence half naked, nor had I ever heard the term 'sex offender' before. Also keep in mind, that in the documentation I have of her chat, she requested over and over for 'Mikes Hard Lemonade" which I had none of, and also wanted a description of my vehicle. I told her it was a red Firebird, when in fact it was a silver Jeep. I wanted nothing to do with someone jumping into my car at home when I didn't suspect it.
I saw a figure sitting on the curb. I drove up, kept going and passed her and did a U-turn to leave. Not even eye contact. I thought 'what the hell am i doing?' She got up to go in and I u-turned to leave only to have 7 cops rush out with pointed guns. I guess 'she' identified me by my profile picture on the computer. I was dragged out of the car and charged with 'attempted enticement of a child". The word 'attempted' is in the charge. I consider myself a smart guy (although this story might dispute that) that unless they're mind readers, I just may have entered this bowling alley to go bowling. Isn't that reasonable doubt in and of itself? It was a public lot. Opened for business!!!
After I was booked, they took me to my apartment where they checked all my VCR tapes for porn. They all contained episodes of the 3 Stooges. They confiscated my computer and digital camera and sent them to the FBI. Not one shred of porn. They returned my items in a state of ruin and I had to pitch em out. The cops who took the stuff acted like it was their first time. They had to call headquarters and ask what pieces to take. That all happened on 4/03/05. I spent the entire summer living on edge, even having cops tell me when they find no porn, they'll drop it.
On Labor Day 05, they knocked on my door and rearrested me. I spent the night in jail as my 80 year old parents, on a holiday, tried to come up with bail money & drive to me 100 miles away. All of a sudden I'm a sex offender!! After bringing up an autistic son who I never touched or would even think of doing so and a 16 yr old girl who I don't think I've ever even seen naked.
Six months before all this I had moved in with my brother for about 3 months after my divorce, just for a place to live, and as he & his wife left to teach school, I saw his 15 and 13 year old girls off to school every morning. Never touched them or had a thought of doing so! I have no doubt they would swear to my character.
I hired a lawyer who was a big nightmare. He inspected my charge and told me "good news, not to worry, its the lowest form of felony". I'm thinking it'll be reduced to, oh i dunno, 2nd degree sexual misconduct, a misdemeanor or something. A charge under the circumstances I thought would even be too harsh, but I'd gladly accept it.
The day of court, I knew I was screwed after he talked to the DA and came back to me and said, he's offered you such and such and if you don't plead there'll be a trial and you stand to spend up to 3 years in jail. I was petrified but knew he'd really forsaken me when I tried to explain what I'd done and he said, 'Well, after all you are a 50 yr old man who......and then, quote, told me: "c'mon lets go in and get it over with!!!' I was appalled. He wouldn't even let me tell my side to the judge.
He took my $5000 and ran. He never once told me what I'd be in for or to expect. The only thing he said was 'All I want you to concentrate on is the counseling I'm going to arrange for you", leading me to think that he'd plead with the judge for some kind of slap on the wrist and 1 on 1 with someone to comply.
This idiot even presented the court with the wrong days for my jail time which resulted in them holding me for 24 hours at release time and telling me I'd broken probation. That's because the GPS didn't detect me at home when I was actually spending time in jail as I was supposed to. I was scared to death I'd done something.
My horror show was just starting. I was sentenced to 7 days in jail (real harsh for a dangerous criminal huh?) and 5 years probation and sex offender therapy.
The day I met my probation officer she said to me after looking at my papers, "I'm really surprised..you had a good lawyer". A quote from my probation officer!!!! Two months later she had me evicted from my apartment. I was perfectly within the parameters legally of living there since it was more than 2000 feet from a school, yet she had me evicted because within view of my window was a dilapidated swing set that was never used.
A month later I had mentioned to her that I went to my brothers for dinner. My probation rules say: I may not have unchaperoned contact with anyone 16 or younger. My brother, his wife and my parents were all there and the girls weren't even home!! She claimed then I need to have a 'supervisor' who would be delegated by my sex offender counselor after attending 2- $100 meetings with him. And because I didn't have one, I didn't know anyone here & my brother wouldn't do it, she slapped a GPS on me for 3 months of house arrest to the tune of $15 per week. This, after $125 a month(5 yrs) for sex offender therapy, $30/month to the state for supervision fee and polygraphs of $225 each that I've now been forced to take 5 of.
It gets worse.
During Xmas of 06, I was so sick I called sex therapy to tell them I couldn't be there. I was literally falling down sick and had notes from my Xmas employee and my doctor stating such. She flipped at my absence and put me in individual counseling every week for 3 months at $50 per session. Not caring that I had a business to operate with no employees and had to close every Tuesday from 1-4 for that!
They don't want me to see my son because he has autism and I 'might take advantage of it". They even refrain me from going to church as if I'll rape someone in a pew. I have lost my position as a notary, a big chunk of my business.
I have been thrown into sex offender therapy with men who've spent 8 years in prison for having sex with 4 year olds. Each and everyone of them who have physically violated a minor. A man who fondled a teen on her top & privates who got ONE YEAR probation. And he doesn't even have to register as a SO. A man who took out his penis and got 2 years and no registration. An adult who had sex with a 15 yr old and gets off the list after his 2 years probation!! A man who was arrested for 'conspiracy to commit rape on a 4 year old, with a prostitute, and spent 6 years in prison who does not have to register. I've been called a 'criminal" in there by these sick bastards who've sodomized their own kids. I feel like a fish out of water.
They ask me on my polygraphs if I masturbate to the thoughts of children, I answer 'no' and pass the test...and they continue then to ask it in group. There's no end to it. They ask if I masturbate to thoughts of my probation officer.
If they don't hear it , I'm in denial. It's SICK! I pass all my polygraph questions like 'do you masturbate thinking of kids' and 'have you sought sex through any electronic means'. Yet I'm stuck in there with freaks that admit to walking by their own windows stripped to their shorts, and going out and buying porn while they ARE ON probation.
I still don't get it. In the therapy, we learn about thinking errors. The one that reminds me of them is assuming. They assumed I was there to pick someone up!! They assumed that the roll of electrical tape they took from my vehicle from under 5 years of bank receipts and dirt was to tie up a kid's wrists, not because I kept it in case of a water hose break. If it wouldn't be so utterly ridiculous, it'd all be funny.
It has all ruined my self esteem to the hilt. I met a wonderful woman who I hit it off with until I had to tell her...and she ran for her life. I've just given up because I know that's what this stigma gives you. I can't date women who have kids. Who doesn't have a kid in this world? Oh there's a lot more.
Cops knock on my door every 6 weeks scaring the hell out of me seeing if I live where I say I do. My son can't understand why I can't take him to ballgames which he dearly loves. My car has been vandalized to undrivable conditions because my name and address is on sex offender websites and the landlord says she gets calls everyday wanting to know if 'she knows sex offenders live there'. I have received harassing calls at home and now my business is asking me to explain myself for being a 'molester'.
I'm scared. I can't hardly face my customers or my friends. If I ever got this place sold to get back south to be with my son, he'd never understand why I couldn't come to his old high school basketball games to see him hand out cups of water to the players which he is sooo proud of doing.
Not a great thought of going back either since there they notify every neighbor within 2000 feet of you that you're a sex offender. But its like I'm in prison anyway. If I sold this place today, I'd have to wait 6 months for paperwork to clear to transfer out of state. I'd starve! If I put in the paperwork now, then what happens if this store doesn't sell? I'm damned either way.
Can you see yet why I'm on medication for depression? Anxiety? I am soon to go to a forensic psychologist to take tests to prove I have no interest in kids. Not because I have doubts, but because others do. It's like this, when I met my ex-wife I had to prove through papers I was divorced. If this is what I have to do to prove I'm not a monster lurking behind some tree, then so be it.
I'm scared to death there will be a rape in my neighborhood and they'll come knocking. With me alone in the city with no friends to account for my whereabouts. My P.O. called me the morning of 7/18 and asked where I was. I was at home!! She said a county officer called her and told her I'd been arrested and was in county jail. It scared me into a 500 beat per minute heart rate. I've just about had enough!!
I think the lowest I ever got was last year when I got so sick and tired of it I went into the best defense attorney in this city. A former DA. He read my story and said 'why didn't you come to me? They had NO case. This was only a drive-by". My heart sunk. There isn't a soul that doesn't think this is unfair and I need to clear my name. What woman would want to start a relationship with me and inherit this on an almost daily basis? Under the circumstances, I worry that if I do sell this God-forbidden place I don't stand a chance of even getting a job anywhere. And if for some small reason my ex-wife would ever want to reconcile, this all but blows that chance.
What has become of this country? Let's suppose for a minute that I had evil in my mind. I drove in, I drove out. So. Then, I was arrested for thinking something? If that's the case, put me in jail for thinking of robbing a bank. Put us all behind bars.
When does the punishment fit the crime??? I'm guilty of stupidity & nothing more. When you think about it, how do they know it wasn't my brother on the computer who conversed with her and called me at my other brother's house to tell me somebody wanted to meet me at that specific location. and so I went. Isn't that possible? Wouldn't that raise reasonable doubt? I'm stretching because I had no intent to begin with but I believe this proves the flimsiness of it all.
This is NOT about how I've been treated since this, though I wish it were. It's about what I did to deserve this. Without the liquor, false ID of car, where is the burden of proof??? For all they know, I might have just been lost!
No one through out this whole disaster ever questioned my mental condition, what I was going through, nor did they care. When I get a knock at my door, I wonder if a gunshot will blast through as I approach it. I'm scared, I'm lonely and I'm virtually on my own. And I'm tired of it.
The Supreme Court decision defining 'entrapment" should be case enough.
(Sorrells vs US) "when the governments quest for conviction leads to the apprehension of an otherwise law abiding citizen, who, if left to his own devices, likely would never run afoul of the law, the courts should intervene".
(Sherman vs US) "Entrapment only occurs when criminal conduct was the "product of creative activity of law enforcement".
Life seems not worth living if this is what it will amount for me forever on. I dread thinking about climbing a police stations steps at age 75 to register. I would take any type of relief right now. Serving my last 2 years probation and then getting off the list seems like heaven to me right now. Although compared to what others have received, I feel the words of 100 people I've talked to, that I got shafted.
One of my good friends made through my store here is an investigator for the FBI. He talked my situation over with 6 people in the statehouse and he told me a man said, 'its a shame a DA had to make an example out of him" for his own gain.
If my PO or therapist knew I was writing this, they'd string me up for denial. Then again, they string me up for jumping into a burning building to save a 6 yr old from a fire. I mean that sincerely. Certainly one less 'sex offender' on the list wouldn't endanger society if its righteous.
I'm sorry I rambled on, but 100% of this is the truth. I don't sway it one iota to make me appear differently. I don't want anyone saying 'yeah, but you left this part out".
People found with guns in airports get misdeameanors. For what I did/or did not do, I got a felony!! Several men at nearby state prison beat a guy to within an inch of his life and got misdeameanors. I know myself and if I ever touched a minor, I'd tell em 'don't give me 15 years, give me 45 years". That's how confident I am in myself never resorting to that stuff. The longer this goes on, the more rights are taking away from me because I'm categorized.
Categorized for doing nothing--or one stupid mistake. I have NO doubt I would
pass a plethysmograph if I could find someone who does them. My most fervent wish
is to get outta here and go back to Florida where I was so happy, but that state treats SO's twice as harsh.
I shudder that the rest of my life will be this way. I'm usually one to leave well enough alone, but
this penalty for doing 'nothing' has made life unbearable. I now know exactly how Jackie Robinson felt.
