Comedians got us through the last eight years of George W. Bush and comedians will get us through the next 50 or so days of the Alaskan Queen.
Late Night on Sarah Palin...
"And how are you going to be the vice president of the United States with five kids to take care of? She's got a four-month-old of her own, she's about to become a grandmother, and she's partnered with John McCain. How many diapers can one woman possibly change?" --Jimmy Kimmel
"She said at her church, Governor Palin, said she asked everyone to pray for a natural gas pipeline, which she said was God's will. And today, God said, 'Hey lady, I don't deal with oil companies. That's more Satan's area.'" --Jay Leno
"I guess there are some problems with Palin, though. Have you heard about this 'Troopergate' scandal? Palin allegedly…used her power as governor to pressure officials to fire her former brother-in-law from his state trooper job. Now, maybe I'm wrong, but wasn’t that an episode of 'Dukes of Hazzard?'" --Jay Leno
"Speaking of Sarah Palin, she said she's a life-long member of the National Rifle Association. Which may explain why she's in favor of shotgun weddings." --Conan O'Brien
"Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin has many views. She says she's opposed to same-sex marriage. Did you know that? Yeah, Palin says everyone knows marriage isn't for gay people; it's for pregnant teenagers." --Conan O'Brien
"Oh, and all those Internet photos of Sarah Palin in a bikini holding a gun. But they are all photoshopped. Like those photos of Bill and Hillary dancing, all fake." --Jay Leno
"You know, Sarah Palin, John McCain selected her to be the vice presidential running mate on the Republican ticket, and she's also the governor of Alaska, and outdoors, like the outdoors, likes assault rifles, has a collection of rifles, likes to shoot assault rifles. I'll say this for her daughter's boyfriend: the kid's got guts." --David Letterman
"Governor Sarah Palin gave her speech tonight at the GOP Convention, and it gave people who didn't know anything about her the chance to finally meet her, you know, like John McCain." --Jay Leno
"We're learning more and more about Governor Palin. Apparently her daughter's name is Juno." --Jay Leno
"Let me ask you a question: is it just me, or does Sarah Palin look like a model for LensCrafters?" --David Letterman
"Earlier tonight, I don't know if you saw it, Sarah Palin gave a tremendous speech to the Republicans, though some are claiming it was actually her daughter's speech." --David Letterman
"Hey, the Republican Convention is still going wild in scenic St. Paul, Minnesota right now. Alaska Governor and Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin was the star speaker tonight. A lot of excitement. She promised a walrus in every igloo and a whale tooth in every papoose." --Jimmy Kimmel
"By the way, here's good news, ladies and gentlemen: the Palin family crisis that we were talking about on Sunday and Monday, that has been solved now, and, today, the baby is being adopted by Angelina Jolie." --David Letterman
"And you've got to love this: Sarah Palin is an avid hunter. An avid hunter. A vice president who likes guns? Well, what could go wrong there?" --David Letterman
"It was an unplanned pregnancy, but the Palins say their daughter will marry the young man. He's a fellow high school student of hers. His name is Levi Johnston. They even found his MySpace page, which they pulled down immediately, but before they did we found out that he's a 'f***ing redneck,' is what he said, and another quote from him, 'I don't want kids.' Remember when the Republicans compared Barack Obama to Britney Spears? Now they've got their their own Jamie Lynn." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Some people are saying that McCain picked Sarah Palin to appeal to women who supported Hillary Clinton. This is crazy. You can't just replace Hillary Clinton with another woman. Bill tried that, it didn't work out." --Craig Ferguson
"John McCain's VP pick is the governor of Alaska, a unknown hockey mom named Sarah Palin that no one ever heard of. The only other job she had in politics was the mayor of a small town known as Wasilla, Alaska, and now she has the opportunity to be on a ticket opposite of Barack Obama, the first black man she's ever seen." –Bill Maher
"This isn't a presidential ticket, this is a sitcom. The maverick and the MILF." –Bill Maher
