Sometimes we just get a feeling about people. Something just doesn't feel right.
I never cared for Tim Mahoney much, disappointed in his wingwalking between the Democratic party and his Palm Beach Republican constituency. Additionally, the forever association of his win connected with the Mark Foley scandal had somehow slimed Mahoney, causing me to pretty much gag whenever our paths crossed at Democratic events.
Call it women's intuition, call it a sixth sense, call me right.
The slimed became The Slime.
And now the Dems are likely to lose the District 12 seat because Tim wingwalked between his marriages and his affairs. I bet you money that Mark Foley would win reelection if he threw his hat back into the ring three days before the election.
Gag.
Mark Mahoney on the Presidential race...
And decide they will.
Did Mahoney think he'd get away with it?
By CARL HIAASEN
If there were a political equivalent of the Darwin Awards, this year's winner would be Tim Mahoney, the Democratic congressman from Palm Beach Gardens.
ABC News recently nailed Mahoney for nailing one of his staff members and then paying her more than $121,000 in hush money.
While Mahoney isn't the first priapic politician to get snagged in his own zipper, the circumstances of his misbehavior indicate that he's afflicted with exceptional stupidity.
It's been only two years since he narrowly won the District 12 seat, a victory made possible when his original opponent, Republican incumbent Mark Foley, abruptly quit the race because of -- guess what? -- a sex scandal.
Foley had been caught sending ''inappropriate'' e-mails to young men who'd worked as congressional pages, which is to say he was basically trolling online. Yet even as Foley was being pummeled by those tawdry revelations, his Democratic (and long-married) rival was engaged in secret mischief of his own.
During a 2006 campaign appearance, Mahoney had met a woman named Patricia Allen and they'd begun having an affair. According to Democratic sources, Mahoney soon arranged for Allen to work as a volunteer in his campaign.
It was a sleazy move, but not automatically career-killing. That would come later.
The seedy, sudden demise of his Republican opponent failed to ring an alarm bell in Mahoney's uncomplicated brain. Even a half wit running against Foley would have drawn a lesson from the exploding e-mail scandal and hastily cleaned up his or her own act.
Not Terminally Tumescent Tim.
While carrying on his extramarital affair, Mahoney presented himself to disillusioned Foley supporters as the candidate of ''faith, family and personal responsibility.'' The pitch was convincing enough to beat Joe Negron, the GOP's last-minute replacement for Foley.
Once elected, Mahoney didn't waste any time on soul-searching or spiritual introspection. Instead he promptly hired Patricia Allen to be on his congressional staff.
That it was arrogant and hypocritical goes without saying, but those flaws are pandemic in politics. What really stands out is Mahoney's unfathomable dumbness.
Did he seriously believe he could put his hump buddy on the payroll without anyone knowing? Or, worse, did he assume that nobody would care?
With rumors running wild, Mahoney was braced last year by Rep. Rahm Emanuel, a senior Democrat from Illinois. Emanuel warned Mahoney that people were talking about the affair and urged him to act responsibly and ``appropriately.''
Mahoney did neither. Friends of Allen told ABC that she decided to end the relationship when she found out the congressman was having other extramarital dalliances.
So, in another stroke of brilliance, Mahoney summarily fired Allen last January. To no one's surprise (except the clueless congressman), Allen threatened to sue for sexual harassment. Eventually Mahoney agreed to pay her $121,903, which he said came from his own pocket.
Two weeks ago, when the settlement came to light, Mahoney labeled the allegations ''hearsay'' and asked for a congressional inquiry into the charges.
It was a feeble stall. Within days, the congressman had apologetically admitted not only to the Patricia Allen escapade, but ''multiple'' others.
Multiple is wonderful in the context of a bedroom experience with one's own spouse, but it's not a word you want to hear in a public confession of adulterous tendencies. For Mahoney, the fireworks are just beginning.
As of this writing, he says he has no plans to resign from the House of Representatives or drop out of the race, like his disgraced predecessor did. Mahoney insists he broke no laws, although the hiring of one's mistress seems a questionable use of taxpayer money. Would that be considered an earmark, or an ear nibble?
Once holding a comfortable lead over challenger Tom Rooney, Mahoney has taken a nose-dive in the polls. His wife wants a divorce, and her attorney has inquired about certain joint funds that the congressman allegedly transferred to solo accounts.
It's a sad, awful mess for the congressman's family, and no bargain for constituents who put their trust in him.
While the history of politics includes notorious horndogs from both major parties, the Democrats have a special flair for dumbass self-destruction -- Wilbur Mills on stage with his Argentine stripper, Gary Hart aboard the Monkey Business with Donna Rice and of course Bill Clinton in the White House with Monica.
None of those fellows hired, then fired, their girlfriends. You might say Tim Mahoney has gall, or you might say he's not the brightest bulb on the porch.
In any case, there's good reason to doubt both his judgment and his character.
Make that multiple reasons.
--Miami Herald, 10/26/08
